"A Modern Belle, Harper's New Monthly Magazine, vol. 6 (April 1853), p. 707 [from the "Editor's Drawer" section.

 

A Modern Belle" is artistically and truthfully "served up" in some lines by an American poet, appropriately read at some "Lady's Fair" down East. Among other characteristics cited were the following"

"She sits in a fashionable parlor,

And rocks in her easy chair;

She is clad in silks and satins,

And jewels are in her hair;

She winks, and giggles, and simpers,

And simpers, and giggles, and winks,

And though she talks but little,

'Tis a good deal more than she thinks.

 

"She lies a-bed in the morning,

Till nearly the hour of noon,

Then comes down snapping and snarling,

Because she was called so soon.

Her hair is still in papers,

Her cheeks still 'fresh' with paint;

Remains of her last night's blushes,

Before she intended to faint!

 

"She dotes upon men unshaven,

And men with 'flowing hair;'

She's eloquent over mustaches,

They give such a foreign air!

She talks of Italian music,

And falls in love with the moon,

And if a mouse were to meet her,

She would sink away in a swoon.

 

"Her feet are so very little,

Her hands are so very white,

Her jewels so very heavy,

And her head so very light;

Her color is made of cosmetics,

(Though this she will never own;)

Her body's made mostly of cotton,

Her heart is made wholly of stone.

 

"She falls in love with a fellow,

Who swells with a foreign air;

He marries her for her money,

She marries him for his -- hair!

'One of the very best matches'

Both are well mated in life;

She's got a fool for her husband

He's got a fool for a wife."